Courage or Strength?

Each night as the sun returns to it’s heavenly gates to the west, I find myself restless. I walk the ramparts of the castle I built for my lord…It seems vast and empty without his commanding presence. It is at these moments, when women tend to feel too deeply, that I am filled with doubts. Why did our emperor give me this great responsibility? Surely there is someone mightier and braver than I, to protect the beautiful thing that he has created… What skill or resource do I possess that makes me qualified to lead? I have no military prowess, no devilish cunning. I do not crave power or glory, on the battlefield or off. I do not wish to issue orders, give commands, in truth, it does not sit well with me, as I prefer each person use their free will.

I stop to drink in the gentle breeze carrying summer to these graceful lands. I find myself wishing for Imperial’s return, watching from the tower walls till the last fading light has disappeared. He would know what to do. He would not let his children fight between themselves, ripping asunder everything he had built. He would be strong and they would listen…I look away from the beauty before me, somehow pained by it. The Imperium, her lands vast and bountiful, but she knows, just as I do, that her master is absent…

She is now my charge. I look down into my empty hands…I hold no weapon. No sword to swing at her enemies, yet I find myself driven to protect her people, preserve her ideals, and reaffirm her unity, but where do I start? And even more important is the question…to what lengths must I go? What will be the price of peace, can it be paid with words or will it ultimately demand blood?

As night finally falls, all is silent, even the wind. I draw my cloak around me, but it brings me little comfort. A single tear slips down my cheek, but I wipe it quickly. “You must be strong!” I tell myself again and again. I reach for that strength, that shining aura of assurance that my lord possesses, but all I find within myself is patience and a clear resolve, which I suppose in some ways… is it’s own kind of courage. I hope it is enough, for in truth, it is all that I have to offer to heal her wounds…