Consider the Orc

Consider the Orc 

Consider the orc. First, orcs tend to be bigger than the other races. Second, fighting comes as naturally to orcs as breathing. Third, orcs possess amazing recuperative abilities. Fourth, they can (and do) eat almost anything, and amazingly find nourishment from most of it. Yes, orcs really ought to have conquered the other races. But to understand why they haven’t, let’s dig a little deeper. See number two there, perhaps it should have been number one, but I’m numbering things here, not you. Anyhow, number two creates problems not just for their neighbors, but for the orcs as well. Right from the beginning (whatever that means), orcs fought. I sometimes think that orcs would even fight over who gets to jump off a cliff first, presuming two of them felt this was a good idea (in fact there were two such orcs, but that is a different story). Orcs fight over who takes out the garbage, who needs to cook, what they should cook, and, of course, who has to mow the lawn (ok, so they don’t really have lawns). While all this fighting makes them pretty good at it, it also acts as population control mechanism. If ever the orcs would stop fighting each other, they would probably, no strike that, definitely start mopping the fields with the humans, and the forests with the elves. I feel safe in declaring this for one simple reason, I’m the author. Now consider what this means for orcish society. The best fighters are the ones who get the best perks in life. They tend to get the girls in high school, be invited to the best parties, and generally tell everyone else what to do, since anyone arguing gets beaten to a pulp. Now if we extend this understanding to orcish military matters (hmm … heh … heh heh heh, HAHAHA!), we see an immediate problem. The best fighters become the leaders, meaning the ones not as good get to be, yes, the common foot soldier (oh wait, they’re ALL foot soldiers since horses are menu items). Further complicating things is the fact that if an orc doesn’t like a command, like say, go jump on yonder pike so I don’t have to or go climb that wall while they pour boiling pitch on your head he usually makes a fuss, whereupon he gets beaten into a pulp and can’t jump or climb anyway. So the common orcish foot soldier is the runt of the litter (yes, orcs have litters, you got a problem with that?), only doing what his commander says when it sounds better than being clobbered. It’s a little hard to get things done this way. I honestly think I’d prefer herding cats (though I’ve never actually tried this). The other drawback of this system is that those with the biggest muscles don’t always make the best decisions. Yes, I hate to say it, but they tend to be dolts. Not all, just most. This leads to a rather unexciting battle strategy: rush the enemy and kill them. And you might as well forget about talking about flanks, as orcs think those are food. No, upon closer inspection, it is fairly miraculous that there are any orcs left at all. The multiple births probably explain this as well as anything. So considering all the facts, one must conclude that the orc is his own worst enemy.

Why the Orc Fights

Why the Orc Fights

In the far distant Past, the All Father sought a place to establish his household. Upon finding a place, he gathered of the materials and created a Realm in which to ensure the happiness of the All Mother, his wife. The All Father loved the mountains and hills, the rivers and streams, and indeed the fair blanket of verdant foliage and flora his labors had created. All these things he produced with singleness of heart, however. Above all other things he coveted the pleasure of the All Mother. Well in might be said her delight and contentment motivated all his actions. Upon completion of the establishment of his Realm, he desired more time with the All Mother, and so sought Servants to labor in maintaining all he created. As the All Father surveyed his Realm, he noted three creatures that with time and effort might be made into Servants. From the most graceful and fair came forth the Elves. From the most calculating and industrious emerged the Humans. From the most solid and fierce sprang the Orcs. To these new Servants the All Father set Tasks to ensure his Realm prospered: tending the earth to ensure the beauty of the Realm, care of the creatures within the Realm, ensuring the garners be full in times of cold or famine, and above all, ensuring the continued pleasure and happiness of the All Mother. He left the ordering of these tasks to his Servants, causing the All Mother a sense of foreboding. Among her various qualities she possessed prescience, so she approached her husband, cautioning against this course of action. Had he listened to her counsel, things may have been different. Yet the All Father desired for his Servants to choose how best to complete the Tasks themselves, thus the stage for the drama to unfold.

The Elves were immediately drawn to the Task of caring for the land. Possessing a keen awareness of the most satisfying balance of tree and scrub, meadow and glade, they became the nurturers of the land amplifying the natural beauty of the Realm. The fauna, both avian and terrestrial creatures, also prospered under the assiduous care of the Elves. Soon the air teamed with fowl of all hue, the land crawled with exquisite denizens marvelous to behold. Thus the Elves found their Task, enchanting the All Mother with their labors, finding pleasure in its accomplishment.

The Orcs too were drawn to the fair things of the Realm, also seeking the Task of husbandry of the natural beauty of the Realm. The orchid and the butterfly, these were the things which stirred the heart of every Orc. ‘Twas foredoomed, however, for where the Elf possessed grace and a gentle caress, the Orc a ham-fist and harsh touch. The flowering things withered in the care of the Orcs. Delicate creatures perished under their lumbering attempts at care. ‘Tis a sad fact that disappointment often leads to reckless actions. Frustrated in their attempts, the Orcs looked to the Elves. Seeing the Elves’ success heightened the Orcs’ sense of failure. Aggressive by temperament, they sought to take what they could not produce. They smashed so as to spread their misery, for they were miserable, cursed by their natures as hopeless in their desired Task.

The actions of the Orcs appalled the peace-loving Elves who regarded their behavior as unconscionable and irrational. Knowing not where else to turn, they sought the intervention of the All Mother. For her part, she heard the pleas of the fair ones. Compassion for her Servants caused her to approach her husband, seeking a protection for the Elves and an end to the conflict. The All Mother suggested that perhaps the Orcs were unsuited for such labors, and perhaps he might help them find another Task. The All Father saw the wisdom in this and indeed Intervened. He changed the Orcs that day. No longer did the Orcs see the world as did the Elves. The beauty of the Realm no longer moved the Orc as it had before the Intervention. Their hearts no longer soared with the sonnet of a bird, nor were stirred with the simple poetry of a flower. Their desires more closely matched their temperament and ability. For good or ill, this Intervention remains to this day.

The industrious humans did not remain inactive during the afore mentioned episode. True to their nature, they took the fruits of the earth and created farms and orchards; so to they domesticated animals of the Realm creating ranches and dairies. Soon villages and markets emerged, creating opportunities for trade and in turn, wealth. Their industriousness filled the garners of the Realm, pleasing the All Father and fulfilling a vital Task. The Humans thus became happy and profitable Servants. Life, however, continually changes.

Now that their desires had changed, the Orcs sought a new way in which to fulfill the All Father’s Tasks. They looked to the Humans, noting they seemed to be doing quite well in accomplishing the Tasks. Hence, they too attempted farming and herding, as did their successful fellow Servants. Alas, their fierce natures interfered once again. Farming, a task best completed with cooperation, quickly degenerated into arguments and scuffles with more seed being used as ammunition than ever made it into orderly rows. Trade proved equally frustrating. Trade with other Orcs went the way of farming, and trade with the other Servants also proved unprofitable.

The Elves, mistrustful from previous experience, failed to remain in negotiations when it looked as though bartering might lead to battle. Trading with Humans was worse, as they were all too willing to trade. Whereas the Humans were endowed with the ability to trade cleverly, Orcs were slow to understand the nuance of complicated transactions. As the Orcs continued to come away from bargaining with Humans with less than they started with, resentment and frustration began to build. Eventually the Orcs began bringing their innate skills to the bargaining table. They took farms and orchards, ignored contracts, and destroyed the markets and trading houses of the Humans. The Humans, in face of Orcish aggression, sought the aid of the All Mother.

The All Mother’s benevolence moved her to action. Convinced that again the Orcs were simply inadequate for their chosen Task, she approached the All Father. Seeing her distress at the state of affairs, he considered the problem his Orcs caused. He first separated the Orcs from the Humans, ending their struggle, and abating the distress of his wife. He also Intervened in the affairs of the Orcs a second time, declaring the Orcs should leave the farming and the trading to the Humans. The Second Intervention also remains to this day, so that it is a rare Orc who enjoys trading or farming.

Yet, he knew the Second Intervention could not be a final solution to the problem. His Orcs were combative and continued peace in the Realm seemed impossible while they were about. Further, the Tasks were being fulfilled admirably by his other Servants. Indeed, the Orcs seemed to in fact be the problem. The All Mother, sensing the direction of his thoughts, declared she would be most displeased if the Orcs simply “disappeared.” She counseled that their departure from the Realm would suffice. So it was that the Orcs were to be banished from the Realm.

Yet before their departure, the All Mother granted them this Boon: the Orcs should become a law unto themselves, unbound from the strictures of conduct placed on the remaining Servants, freed from any restraint of the All Father’s will. The All Father then Banished the Orcs, and they became a Race Apart, bearing similarity to the other races, yet different in custom and speech. The Boon allowed them to develop different values, more suited for their new condition. Of necessity, the Orcs grew feral and wild. Finally free to become true to their hearty and ferocious progenitors, the Orcs became a warrior race, valuing toughness and martial skill above all else. By act of will, the Orc became a fighter. This is why the Orc fights.